would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I think I died a long time ago.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
