She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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