So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
