Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
