yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
