I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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