I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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