In the future we'll all be gay
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Randomize
