Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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