i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize