I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
