I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
She told me I should be a condom model.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
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