You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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