Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
well you can't waste a boner
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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