That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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