If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
