i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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