Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
