D3 body, D1 cock
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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