if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
