susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
