At least make sure they are 18
Why
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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