My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
