What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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