Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
