that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
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