I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
