Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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