So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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