i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
