We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
