I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Randomize
