There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Pooping to opera.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
