I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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