So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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