I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
