actually, I'm a sock model
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
