No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
