Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
