I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
