Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
