my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
