VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
