Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
