This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Come on in and take your pants off
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