I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
