i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
