I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
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