I CAN MOONWALK!
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Randomize
