how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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