I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
im drinking this country out of the recession.
one two three fourrrrnication!
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Randomize
