i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
