Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
