i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
