Ambien. No doubt about it.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
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