so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Sober January is a disaster.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
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