You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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