We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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