I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize