their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
