What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
