You work out of a Hotel?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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