ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
